Refund policy
To be eligible for a return, the book(s) must be in the same condition you received it in and in its original packaging. You’ll also need the receipt or proof of purchase that was emailed to you after you purchased the book(s).
To start a return, please contact me directly on ian@ianbatesauthor.com. If your return is accepted, you'll receive a return shipping label, as well as instructions on how and where to send your package. Items sent back without first requesting a return will not be accepted.
Damages and issues
Please inspect your order upon receipt and let me know as soon as possible if the book or books are defective, damaged or if you received the wrong book(s).
Exceptions / non-returnable items
Unfortunately, we cannot accept returns on sale items, gift cards or eBooks.
Exchanges
The fastest way to ensure you get what you want is to return the item you have, and once the return is accepted, make a separate purchase for the new item.
Refunds
You will be notified once a return has been inspected and if the refund was approved or not. If approved, you’ll be automatically refunded on your original payment method. Please remember it can take a few days for your bank or credit card company to process and issue the refund.
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Each book is written by a practising clinician, someone who's dedicated their life to understanding and guiding others through life’s complexities.
Let customers speak for us
from 149 reviewsExplains what's actually happening when emotions spiral and gives you real tools to stop it. Highly recommend.
Practical, well-researched, and immediately useful. My conversations at work and at home are noticeably better.
Helped me understand myself in ways I never expected. Warm, practical, and hard to put down.
Simple framework, real results. Still using what I learned here months later.
This book doesn't just tell you to calm down — it explains exactly why emotions escalate and gives you precise tools to stop the spiral before it starts.
This book doesn't just tell you to calm down — it explains exactly why emotions escalate and gives you precise tools to stop the spiral before it starts.
Every emotion has a purpose. Once I stopped fighting them and started reading them, everything changed.
This book doesn't just tell you to calm down — it explains exactly why emotions escalate and gives you precise tools to stop the spiral before it starts.
Every emotion has a purpose. Once I stopped fighting them and started reading them, everything changed.
Spent years treating every self-critical thought as reliable information. This book dismantled that habit quickly and replaced it with something far more useful: the ability to observe a thought without automatically believing it.
Picked this up on a whim and it quietly became one of the most useful things I have read all year. Understanding that my strongest reactions were pointing to something specific — rather than just being part of my personality — changed how I see myself entirely.
The keystone habit concept was completely new to me and it reframed how I think about self-improvement entirely. Instead of overhauling everything at once, you find the one change that pulls everything else with it. Straightforward, no padding, and the ten-step plan is specific enough to actually follow.
I spent years saying yes to things that drained me and convincing myself that was just being a good person. This book made a clear and compelling case that boundaries are not selfishness dressed up — they are what makes genuine generosity possible in the first place. The section on digital boundaries was an unexpected bonus I did not know I needed.
What I needed was not to be told to think positively — it was to feel understood first. This book does that from the very first chapter, then gradually hands you practical tools to stop prolonging your own suffering once you are ready to receive them. The coverage of how emotional pain becomes physical was something I had lived without ever having it explained. At nearly seven hours it is a serious commitment, and it is absolutely worth every minute.
I kept ending up in the same dynamics — with people, with work, with myself — and could never understand why. This book traced all of it back to unmet needs I had been carrying since childhood and, more importantly, gave me a concrete way to start meeting those needs now. The affirmations section felt unnecessary at first glance but turned out to be one of the more transformative parts. Substantial, compassionate, and genuinely worth it.
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